Tuesday, June 08, 2004

...don't build a fire around Felisa*...she may incinerate herself...

...don't take Felisa* to the beach...she may drown herself...

...don't let Felisa* on a bridge...she may jump off...

...don't allow Felisa* on a plane...she may go out the emergency exit, depressurizing the cabin and taking everyone else with her...

...don't give Felisa* a bat'leth...she may impale herself upon it...

...don't present Felisa* with a vial of arsenic...she may drink it...

...don't weave a rope for Felisa*...she may suspend herself from the ceiling with it, causing personal asphyxiation in the process...

...don't let Felisa* borrow your car...she may drive it off a cliff...

...don't create an anvil for Felisa's* use...she may arrange for someone to drop it on her head...

...don't hire Felisa* to do anything for you...she may use the proceeds to hire an assassin to kill her...

*names have been changed to protect the identity of the actual subject of these warnings

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