The following hilarious Thought brought to you by T.J. Monkey's, featuring men of comedic inclination:
Every once in a blue moon, I go out on a date. Sometimes one date will lead to others, and then I find myself in a relationship. There's nothing funny about relationships, so this Thought is about what happens when dates don't lead to a relationship...but instead I become friends with the girl I was interested in. Suhweet.
Don't get me wrong, it's great to have friends that are girls. You learn a lot. For example, I've had more than one woman with whom things didn't work out romantically tell me that I'm the kind of guy you marry.
So, when you're finished dating assholes you'll settle for me? Cool. I'm sold. I'll be at home watching "Sex and the City" reruns til then.
Now, flip the script for a second. If I told a woman that she was the marrying kind, how would that shake out?
Hey, Jen. You're cute and totally cool, but I don't want to date you in any way, shape or form. However, if years from now I'm still single and tired of dating women who aren't as marriable as you are, AKA: "hot bitches," maybe we should give things a shot. You know: picket fence, kids, minivan...the whole shebang. You'd make a great soccer mom. What do you say?
So, to sum up, ladies, in the future when you're trying to compliment me on being a good guy, the right thing to say is...oh, who am i kidding? There's no right thing, but, since I'm so frickin' nice, I'll cave anyway.
Here's your damn ring...
There now, wasn't that funny? Heehee.