Monday, November 21, 2005

I rue the day when I cease to have online conversations like these with people who speak only sketchy English.

START CONVERSATION
jlj said:
hi
jlj said:
my baby
(Well that's a little familiar for someone I've never talked to before, don't you think?)
"The best kind of man is dark, and brilliant, and dead." said:
hello
jlj said:
how are u ?
"The best kind of man is dark, and brilliant, and dead." said:
ok
"The best kind of man is dark, and brilliant, and dead." said:
you?
jlj said:
fineeeeee
jlj says:
you open cam
"The best kind of man is dark, and brilliant, and dead." says:
i don't have one.
jlj says:
you working?
jlj says:
you married?
"The best kind of man is dark, and brilliant, and dead." says:
i'm not married, no.
(Dear God, is he going to propose already?! Why this is all so...so sudden!)
jlj says:
goog
(Oops! Little typing error there, jlj.)
jlj says:
good
jlj says:
i'm not married
(AUGH!)
"The best kind of man is dark, and brilliant, and dead." says:
okay...
jlj says:
seni seviyorum
"The best kind of man is dark, and brilliant, and dead." says:
which means?
jlj says:
i love you
(Um...)
"The best kind of man is dark, and brilliant, and dead." says:
oh, how nice.
jlj says:
DO YOU BECOME MY FRIEND
(At this point, I begin to fear for my life.)
"The best kind of man is dark, and brilliant, and dead." says:
yes sir, please sir.
(Please don't kill my family!)
jlj says:
ok
jlj says:
you send picture
"The best kind of man is dark, and brilliant, and dead." says:
a picture? certainly!
jlj says:
send
"The best kind of man is dark, and brilliant, and dead." says:
there you go!
--Transfer of "10.bmp" is complete.
jlj says:
:*(
"The best kind of man is dark, and brilliant, and dead." says:
why are you crying?
jlj says:
you send picture
(At this point, he tries to send "10.bmp" back to me.)
"The best kind of man is dark, and brilliant, and dead." says:
i did! it's an elaborately-carved watermelon made to look like a racing cyclist!
(He now sends me an extremely vulgar icon.)
"The best kind of man is dark, and brilliant, and dead." says:
i daresay you won't get far with me that way.
jlj says:
what
"The best kind of man is dark, and brilliant, and dead." says:
well, that isn't very romantic, now is it?
"The best kind of man is dark, and brilliant, and dead." says:
i mean, a rose or a glass of champagne would be the least you could do, wouldn't you say?
(At this point, he stops responding. Perhaps Freetranslation.com doesn't do so well with the 'English to Turkish' function.)
END CONVERSATION

4 comments:

Riqz85 said...

why did you even start talking to this guy?Am i the only one that only chats with people i have met face to face before??

Diana said...

Well, he started talking to me. I attempt to be nice to people online, until they prove themselves to be undesirables. :D

Greg said...

Only you would have a nick 11 words long plus punctuation. Brilliant! :-D

Miss K Risque said...

i hope you had a great thanksgiving!