Sunday, October 31, 2004

Wow, so that was like a 20-hour party. Incredible!

Personally, I thought it was wonderful, dancing and all. :)

Friday, October 29, 2004

Sweet Girl
by Fleetwood Mac

And he says, What do you love to do?
Outside your world,
Who spends time with you
From whom do you learn when you're not working... Sweet Girl....

Where would you go if you had the time?
Crossing some crazy state line somewhere?
To whom do you cry
When people are unkind... Sweet Girl

I chose to dance across the stages of the world
Everyone said I'd never learn
I still hear your words
I waited all my life for you... Sweet Girl

I did try to come back and listen
You never knew that I didn't wish it
But I did hear every answer, every question
It's all about protection

Still through the sunlight days I wait
Track a ghost through the fog
The sun is burning me
And you come running out in the wind with me
The ocean is your blanket

I chose to dance across the stages of the world
Everyone said I'd never learn
I still hear your words
Well, I waited all my life for you
I watched you fly across the world in a golden ball
Many of the cities, I never saw at all

Sometimes I think I was always on-call
Sometimes even I am allowed to fall
He says, Come down here for a minute... Sweet Girl...

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Cathy, I'm lost, I said, though I knew she was sleeping
I'm empty and I'm aching and I don't know why...

- Paul Simon, "America"
I took these, and thought of Greg. "Hi, Greg!"

You are Slackware Linux. You are the brightest among your peers, but are often mistaken as insane.  Your elegant solutions to problems often take a little longer, but require much less effort to complete.
Which OS are You?

You are Susan Gezi.Your father was killed by a planned motor accident. He was the former Zimbabwean Minister for Youth & Gender Equality. You have $22,000,000 to share.  You want to assure me this transaction is 100% risk free.
Which Nigerian spammer are You?

You are .mp3 The kids love you.  You get along with just about everybody except the music industry.  You really make yourself heard.
Which File Extension are You?

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Door? Or steel barricade lined with electric barbed wire?

Sometimes they look the same...

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin.: The Savage in chapter 17. Here the Savage explains the old world reasoning. He asserts that true life requires exposure to all things, good and evil.

Monday, October 25, 2004

I am Insidious Atom!
If someone would kindly invent a germ vacuum and a homework robot that also does public speaking, I would be really grateful.

...So if everyone could just get right on that one, that would be great. Thanks!

Sunday, October 24, 2004

What must it be like to watch the icy fingers of Death creep closer and closer with each passing minute? To stare at the clock at night and think, Why am I sleeping?! I'm wasting time... To feel the air in your lungs each morning and the steady wave of relief with each breath? To cling with all of your might to the love of your life each night? To remember all of the time you spent angry or rude or jealous or judgmental? To tell everyone you can how much they mean to you? To look back on your life and wonder if your selfless moments outweighed your pettiness? To stare at your family photographs, reliving each moment in your heart, feeling the thrill of each recalled memory, the ache of each regret? To feel your body wear out, day by day? May she have the strength to bear it, and may she pass on in Christ.

My neighbour has three to four months to live. Pancreatic cancer found during a routine check-up. Please pray for her.

Friday, October 22, 2004

The Way Things Are Going
by Jann Arden

I used to think that I was a good girl
I used to think that the world was fair
Things have gone just a little bit crazy
Don't think I belong anywhere

I'm not so sure, I don't think I know
And I'm not afraid to tell you I'm a little bit scared
The way things are going I'm never gonna get there
No, the way things are going I'm never gonna get there

I used to think that I was a dreamer
I used to have my head in the clouds
Lately life's been nothing but a nightmare
The world keeps turning around and around
The world keeps turning around and around
The world keeps turning around and around

I feel so close, I don't think I know
And it's hard for me to tell you, its a little bit weird
The way things are going I'm never gonna get there
No, the way things are going I'm never gonna get there

I used to think I was a dreamer

I'm never gonna get there

No the way things are going I'm never gonna get there

I used to be a good girl
I used to be a good girl
I used to be a good girl
I used to be a good girl

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Jealousy is sinfully sweet. We cannot seem to get enough of it. I think when you have been bitten once, jealousy moves in for the kill. What I mean by that, is when you have been betrayed somehow, physically or mentally, when you lose trust in someone, jealousy moves in permanently. It brings its toothbrush and takes the spare room. You hear it in there at night watching Leno. "Need anything before I go to sleep?" it calls. "One last reminder of how weak you are???" I hate the feeling of helplessness, the feeling of being jealous.

- From i'll tell you one damn thing and that's all i know!, selected journals of Jann Arden
I'm ill. :(

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Who is the Greatest Canadian? I guess we'll see, won't we?
You know what would be fantastic? If I could stop falling asleep. Then maybe I could actually study for my midterms tomorrow instead of laying in bed like a comatose lump and dreaming about having my cat in the dorm.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

A Poison Tree
by William Blake

I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe;
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I water'd it in fears,
Night & morning with my tears;
And I sunned it with my smiles
And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright;
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine,

And into my garden stole
When the night had veil'd the pole:
In the morning glad I see
My foe outstretch'd beneath the tree.
I'm Not Your Lover
by Jann Arden

I'm not your lover
And I am not your baby no more
I'm not your girlfriend
And you don't have to tell me
'Cause I already know
You already broke me down

I'm not your perfect angel
I am not your one and only
I'm not your sweet magnolia
It's not like you never told me
Love was just a fast car
And I was just a cross on the road

Now you've got my tongue all twisted
You've got me all strung out
I'm lining up the pieces of my heart
On the kitchen floor
Is that what love is?
Is that what love's all about?

I'm not your lover
And I don't think you ever loved me
I'm not your partner
And I don't think I ever could be
Love is like lightning
Thunder's what you've got when it's gone...

I love this song! :)

I remember it from my childhood. Around third grade, I guess. It was fantastic. :D

Saturday, October 16, 2004

It's one of those days. Those days that just are. There's nothing particularly special about it, and nothing particularly ordinary either. It just exists, and I in it.

I'll keep my windows open to let in the cool air. I'll wrap up in a blanket with some hot tea and a book, and enjoy this day that is. I'll listen to Gregorian chants and try to sing along. I'll see how much water I can drink. I'll ponder my solitude. I'll think of all the things I have to do and then ignore them. I'll straighten my rugs. I'll paint my nails. I'll read my favourite blogs. I'll sit back and think of home. I'll phone Monica and giggle with her. I'll make pasta with Felisa. I'll sit. And I'll be content.
It's not sunny! There's nothing like a nice cloudy day in the pseudo-autumn that we have here in SoCal.

Oak Glen! I really need to go there. I can't live without my favourite season...

Well, I'm going to go and just relax and enjoy Sabbath. Without it, I would die. I'm sure of it.

Friday, October 15, 2004

This is just a little thank-you to K.C., who always manages to make me feel better. Happy, even! Thanks, K.C....
How can you go two hundred miles
Without seeing a single soul
I should have stuck on the main road
I should have stuck on the main road
Now I'm waiting, I am waiting...

- Jann Arden, from Waiting For Someone on the Time For Mercy album

Ever wish you were normal? I do, for a minute or two every couple of years.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

we put the "pro" in procrastination

This blog has been established for the Honors students of La Sierra University, in order to reinforce a sense of community and to bring us closer together in a friendly and accepting environment for discussion on any topic. If you would like to be added as a contributor, just send me an e-mail at and I will send you an invitation. It's fast, easy, and fun! ;)

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

My cat, Fluffy. She's fantastic. And yes, I'm still just playing with the fun picture-posting software. It's incredible.

Monday, October 11, 2004

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side.
- Hunter S. Thompson
And I couldn't tell, why everyone here was doing me like
They do
But I'm sorry now, and I don't know how
To get it back to good

- Matchbox 20, Back 2 Good

This is me. I am mostly testing my new software for this. But this is really for your edification too. :)
Now this is a real woman.
Dr. Dupée is the most marvelous man. I just got my Italy paper back today.

A wonderful paper--written with great imagination and style. Filled with subtle, delicious little ironies and asides. You have a gift Mademoiselle Krueger.

And then, throughout the paper, little comments like, "a very literary passage", "a delight to read", "clever"...

Sorry, just had to brag a little bit. It made me happy. :)

Oh, by the way, if any of you want to read the "story" of how my mother and my new step-dad met, or see pictures of the wedding, you can do both here.

Saturday, October 09, 2004

The wedding is tonight. I slept in, went for a light lunch at my grandparents', and came home and went outside to commune with nature, alone. I love Ontario in October. It's chilly and windy, and the sky is gray, and the leaves are changing colour, and the air smells wonderful. I don't know when I've been so busy, and I don't remember the last time I was more relaxed. There is so much emotion going on in my house right now...and I'm enjoying every minute of it, tears and all. That fresh Ontario air does things like that to a person. :)

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Excuse my deplorable language, but...

Why is it that I find bastardly men attractive?

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Somehow I will make it through the next week. Somehow! And if I fail, then I shall fail completely. After all, why do a thing half-way?

Monday, October 04, 2004

AUGH! Why have interpersonal relationships? WHY? They're so DIFFICULT!

Sunday, October 03, 2004

Is There Any Reward?
by Hilaire Belloc

Is there any reward?
I'm beginning to doubt it.
I am broken and bored,
Is there any reward
Reassure me, Good Lord,
And inform me about it.
Is there any reward?
I'm beginning to doubt it.

Saturday, October 02, 2004

Ah the Bradley vespers. What can I say; the man is marvelous! We really need to have these more often.